9 days and a million thoughts later

June 10th- Found out that a dear friend passed away a month ago.

June 11th- Got one of the most heart wrenching phone calls of my life. My ‘aunt’ passed away suddenly. My mom is so distraught. I’m in shock.

June 12th- My mom heard back from her MRI. They think she may need surgery on her spine. She has to see an orthopedic surgeon next week. Maddie crawled. Yes, she’s crawling. At 17 months, my punkin pie figured out how to crawl! *tear*

June 13th- Friday the 13th. We spent the day finding clothes for my mom for the funeral and mentally preparing ourselves for it.

June 14th- I saw people today I haven’t seen since I was 4 foot tall. We were greeted with open arms and I haven’t cried that hard since Morgan. Listening to my beautiful ‘cousin’ talk about her mom and about her life was so amazing. Looking at all the gorgeous pictures framed by hundreds of purple candles. Listening to her favorite songs. ‘The Reason’ had my mom balling uncontrollably. And just when she calmed down…I lost it. I don’t lose it. Do you get that? I just don’t. Ever. I did. ‘With Arms wide open’ starts the first line and I am a mess. That song meant so much to my ‘aunt’ and I.  Something we shared together. Seeing her kids so hollow with tears running down their faces and hearing her grandkids sobbing. It is #2 on the hardest things I have ever experienced list, by far. After the funeral, I needed a drink and I got them. Hard ones.

June 15th- I made a big breakfast and we did things that Howard wanted to do. He wanted to take us {kids, me, him and his mom} out to lunch at his favorite steak house. Then he wanted to go into Toys R Us and buy each kid something they didn’t need. We got him a bunch of cards and a cook book that he wanted.

June 16th- Today I wallowed in my thoughts. Kept thinking about how that could of been me grieving at that funeral and how health wise I always thought my mom was in worse health. I got very scared. As psycho as she is, we are so close now. Closer then we have been in years. And Kenzie…oh God. The thought makes me sick.

June 17th- We had PT today. Our therapist was so happy to see the progress! She showed me all sorts of ways to help her out in her next step, I’m so excited. She is catching on so fast. But I’m also scared. She is catching on so fast! lol She’s a fast crawler, already! Her sister loves it, she follows her around like a puppy lol.

And today…Was my moms appointment with the orthopedic surgeon. He doesn’t think she’ll need surgery, right now. He does think she needs some physical therapy with that and medication he thinks we can get the shoulder moving again. Once she can move, then he will determine if surgery is needed.

Between my kids and parents. For the next 6 weeks, I have doctors appointments every week for the next 6 weeks, at least twice a week. Damn you gas prices!


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