Knew it was coming…

Ever have that feeling, when you know something is coming straight for you and going to crash into you head on? I’ve had that for about 2 weeks now. I’ve been on edge waiting.

It finally came to head last night. At 1am the phone rang…

Wait…backup…

Saturday my mom and I had a fight. The first in a very long time. She was beyond manic and the last thing I wanted to do was be around her or have my kids around her. She made it very clear on Sunday when we came to pick up the kids {she watched them while we went to church} that she wanted a break. No problem, I can give her that 😉 Mind you, she asked for my kids, I didn’t ask her to watch them.

Anyway, so last night at 1am my phone rings. My mom is shrilly…asking me if I’m awake. I tell her no and she proceeds to tell me that I need to wake up and totally loses it. I mean full on SCREAMING, hysterically. It was painful to listen to. Why was she doing this? She was under the influence of who knows what and was ANGRY at my father and I for talking about her. There is nothing I say about ANYONE that I wouldn’t say to their face, wasn’t like it was a secret or anything. She’s been irresponsible to the highest degree lately. Surrounding herself with triggers and bad influences and losing track of what’s really important in life. It’s so hard to watch a train wreck in slow motion, but that has been her these past few weeks. So sue me if I feel the need to discuss her irrational, dangerous and irresponsible behavior with my father.

So, at 1am my sweet husband treks over to her house and picks up my dad who is just shaking in anger, who obviously had just been woken up and kicked out of his own home when it’s 34 degrees outside. Real nice mom.

I’m going to be completely honest here, my mother needs to be committed. Whether that be to the good things in life, the good things for her, the responsible way of living in today’s world or actually committed into a hospital, it needs to happen.

I had to explain to Kenzie today why she couldn’t go to Nanny’s anymore. That was hard. That child is very perceptive and totally understood my reasoning’s I have her, which were the truth, minus adult details. My mom is on a path to destruction and until she finds a new path she will not be around my family. This is so heartbreaking.

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