Archive for the ‘Oh shut up already!’ Category


It has happened. I moved blogs. I love the pages on here, so I am keeping wordpress but to access my blog you need to visit…

My New Blog

Will work for pancakes

I HAVE pulled myself out of that funk and it feels so good. I think I needed to get out my feelings so I could get over it and that is exactly what I did. I had to give Maddie her first time out this week. That wasn’t easy, but it was affective.

My husband wants me to go to work with him today. He’s an odd one. But I might just go. I’m applying for an internship today at a IT place for medical offices in the Austin area. It’s VERY close to home, actually it’s a block from my sister’s office, lol. Anyway, I am very excited about it and really hope they consider me. I would love the opportunity to get some more work experience and the money, even for an internship is really good!

I am really excited about tomorrow. We’re taking Maddie to the zoo for her birthday present. Us and Danielle and Beckham are headed to the San Antonio Zoo for the day and I am so excited! I LOVE ZOO’S! I haven’t been to that one since I was 8 and Kenzie hasn’t been to a zoo since she was 4! The only issue we may have is how early we’re leaving. We’re planning on heading out around 8:30ish and poor Danielle and Beckham usually don’t get up until noon (ahhhh to have one toddler again). Other then that it is going to be one fun day!

Oh and wondering about the title? Blame Backyardagains.

holy pessimistic batman!

I am the queen of the pessimists today!

I cannot seem to focus on anything good! I know there is good in my life, and around me but I am having a really hard time holding on to it and letting go of this stress and anger. Have you ever been so disgusted with yourself? Not necessairly by your actions but the thoughts that are going through your mind? I am. I don’t even want to look in the mirror because then I get even angrier.

The economy is killing us and Howard’s lack of a decent paycheck is even worse. He is trying to find a new job and even I am looking for a night job that I can work while he’s home. We are in one hell of a financial bind and I am counting the seconds until we get any penny from paycheck, income taxes and grants from school.

Howard and I are at each other’s throats. I thought when Todd finally left after 7 weeks that things would get better. They haven’t. They haven’t gotten worse either, but it’s still not pretty. I miss my husband, my support system. I feel so lonely. It’s so depressing.

We haven’t been to church in 2 1/2 weeks! I miss it so bad and feel that something is missing from my life when I don’t go. We’ve either been sick, too tired or not in town.

I am so freakin sick of feeling this way! And typing it out has helped. I am going to get up off my butt and do something. What? I don’t know but I do know I am sick of feeling like this, it’sĀ  not me and I am damn sick typing about it already.


This is going to be one long entry so go grab a cup of coffee first, and get me a grande Carmel macciato while you’re at it, k?

First of all I totally didn’t follow through with NaBloPoMo which makes me so mad at myself. It’s not like I didn’t have a ton to talk about, I did, I just got busy lol.

Kenzie’s great! Had a good week off for Thanksgiving played with her cousins and friends twice and really had fun spending time with her sister and daddy. Her grades are doing very well, I am so proud of her!

Maddie’s awesome too. She loved Thanksgiving, because she is a turkey, lol. She has been uncharacteristically sweet to relatives she doesn’t seen often which resulted in a lot of ‘awwww’s’. She is fascinated by the lights outside that Howard spent 4 days putting up and the Christmas decor on the interior of the house. She calls the lights ‘Pretties’. So, whenever she sees them on she screams, ‘PRETTIES ON!!!!!!!!!!!’ It’s precious! She got her first kiss on Friday, by a cousin but on the lips none the less, poor Derek, not a chance buddy.

My mom is slowly crawling back on her rocker. She’s gone back to the doctor and got back on her meds, YAY! Her diabetes is out of control which her doctor is pretty convinced that it may of caused a mini stroke a week ago. She has been sick for days now, all her medicine is going to take a while to kick in and work correctly again.

Howard’s doing good. He was having trouble with a professor of his recently and basically he called her out on being too critical and now she’s being better about it. His other class he’s doing amazing in! Job is going well, he loves it and the people he works with! Todd has been staying with us and going to work with him everyday so he’s not stuck in the house with me all day, which he doesn’t mind but he’d rather spend time with his brother, I don’t blame him at all! He has had a lot of fun Griswolding our house. It looks just beautiful! (yes, I’ll post pics soon!)

Now for me, I suppose. My learning team issues are not solved in any way. But the dreaded paper is almost done and will be finalized when I get the girls other part of the paper, she has sent me approximitely 300 useable words. She was supposed to give me around 1200! I’m upto 1800 so far. Just waiting. Hopefully she doesn’t take too much longer because it has to be posted before class on Thursday night. Speaking of Thursday, it’s my LAST CLASS!!!!! YAY!!!

Play by Play of other events:

Our Thanksgiving was great, food was awesome, my in laws and parents were here.
I got up at 4am and did Black Friday shopping and got soaked but tons of good deals, Howard slept in, butthead lol.
Friday’s Thanksgiving with my family was great. Kids had a blast and I really enjoyed spending time with my family. Howard was his normal, charming self lol.
Saturday we didn’t do anything except clean the house, relax, put up Christmas stuff and work on my papers.
Sunday we went to Church, went shopping and then went to my niece’s surprise birthday party. They’re going to Disney World for her real birthday and she was sad that she wasn’t going to have a birthday party with her friends and family so my sister threw her a surprise party.

Since then I’ve just been trying to finish these papers. I got my individual one done and turned in on Saturday.

So, that’s what’s been up with me. Now I need to get Maddie ready and go get Kenzie from school and take the girls to get their flu shots. Man are they going to be mad at me!

My Twlight Experience

For those who haven’t seen Twilight, don’t read past this unless you want it to be spoiled, k?

First of all I got to see it with some of the best girlfriends ever, Marcy and Tasha. I also met some new friends that came with us, Jessica and Amanda.

The movie finally started and I didn’t take my eyes off of the screen. Bella was played by the beautiful Kristen Stewart. I heard by many that they didn’t think she could capture Bella as everyone saw her in their heads. She fit my view of Bella perfectly and frankly that surprised me! The guy that they got to play Mike, was TO THE T identical of what I thought he would look and be like in my mind. Eric was awesomely casted as well. Jacob Black, in one word, adorable. I cannot wait until New Moon when we see his character flourish. And now to the Cullens.

Now have you seen ‘The Wedding Date’? The part where ‘Nick’ winks at ‘TJ’ and ‘Kat’ and TJ says the awesome line ‘Oh my God I think I’ve just cum’

Continue reading

Much better day

I journaled this entry at 5:31PM on November 21st 2008.

We’re on our way to Caldwell and since I can’t access the internet, I figured I write it out.

I had an excellent day today. A little hectic, but still fun! I got new clothes and shoes and got the girls a few things as well including Maddie’s Christmas dress. YAY! I let Maddie have a little to much freedom, letting her run through the stores as I browsed. I couldn’t look very well though because I was so worried what she was getting into if I couldn’t see her for more then a blink. I did have a good day though.

Howard got home early and helped me get ready for the trip considering I was gone the majority of the day. I am so excited about tonight and seeing Twilight with the girls. Ugh, I am so swept up in the Twilight fantasy, it’s rediculous. My poor husband. I totally need to get a grip, but that’s exactly opposite of what I’m going to do once I see that movie, I know.

And why am I being blamed for this again?

Picture it…

-You have a set income from social security disability and a piece of a retirement settlement from your last marriage.
-Your parents pay your rent
-Your parents bought you a car, first with your inheritance so no money out of your pocket once so ever but you let one of your drug dealers borrow it, they ended up keeping it for a month (stealing it basically) and totaling it.
-The money you get from the insurance company, which you’re supposed to go buy a new car with you blow on drugs, alcohol…who knows what else.
-So, your parents bought you a new car, but now you get to choose your monthly payment rate and you have to pay them every month for it. Oh and don’t forget, they’re still paying 100% of your rent.

And now…

2 months, no car payment
All of your utilities are being threatened to be shut off because of nonpayment
You have no money for food or necessities

And because at the beginning of LAST month I asked you to pay me the $200 THAT YOU OWED ME you feel the need to blame ME for your financial problems? You tell my grandmother that you had to pay my rent so we could keep our house to keep her off your back. Then you call me four times when I’m at my daughter’s school SCREAMING at me, blaming me for her threatening to take your car away, quit paying your rent and for telling her the TRUTH (that she didn’t pay my rent, she just paid me the money she OWED me)!!


I am so sick of being drug through the dirt and drama.

I want to go to Forks

So it was a gloomy and rainy day today…unfortunately not cold but 2/3 isn’t bad.

I am getting into full on twilight mode. Preparing myself for the movie which I really want to go see with my girlfriends from high school. We might actually be in the area on the day it comes out so my dear friend Marcy already bought my ticket in hope that I can make it. I love her, seriously. I really hope schedules work out like we think it is because I reeeeeally want to go! I love my husband and truth be told, when I’m watching Edward on screen I will not be thinking about him at all lol. So I need to be with my other Edward lovers so they can reciprocate my lust feelings.

Christmas has been a big discussion in my house this evening. We’re finalizing our Christmas lists for family members, our girls and our selves. For the first time since our 2nd Christmas together we are buying each other Christmas gifts and allowing the girls to pick out presents for the each of us. I’m excited! šŸ™‚

Totally random thought {that’s basically me in a nutshell lol} a few months ago if you would of asked me if I liked Buffalo Wings I would of gagged and said no way. I am officially addicted. I LOVE BUFFALO WINGS, preferably from wing stop. I haven’t gone a day without having a craving for them.

Great, just what I need…another food addiction, lol!

blackberry blogging

So I’m lazy and my husband feels like he’s knocking on deaths door so I can’t leave the bedroom.
I talked to my mom today. I called to see how she was feeling. On Thursday she called to tell me she slipped and fell and had been in the hospital overnight because they think she ripped some tendons in her knees. She had a removable cast and crutches. Today she is much better! Walking with no problem and mildly sore.
She wants to talk my dad and convince him to move back in. He’s not interested. I don’t think it’ll take long until he reconsiders.

My financial counselor, and Howard’s for that matter was supposed to call us today about the grants and financial aid that has hit our accounts in the past 6 days. Of course, neither of them called. Howards account shows a refund check being cut already, so we can hope!

Kenzie has started to get the ‘cold’ but she’s handling it pretty well. Maddie has really grasped the phrases ‘you’re welcome’ and ‘I love you’ which just melts me!!!

Ok, my thumb is cramping up!

Off we go!

We’re about to head to Sea World with both kids {yikes!} wish us luck!

Oh and I have a cold šŸ˜¦

I hope Maddie’s good today and hopefully she will love it! I can’t wait to see her reaction!